Letting Go

Letting Go

 I think this is one that most of us have some difficulty in doing. Letting go is so beautiful and cathartic when allowed. And it is a practice. It feels akin to a child who has outgrown some behavior that can drive you totally nuts, and then it stops just like that. It's peaceful and easy. Then, bam! Another new behavior shows up that you learn to navigate and accept, but maybe it's not like that at all. Maybe, it's more like ebb and flow, and in our structured and have-to-control-every-situation mentality, we are completely unaware of this as normal. We feel out of sorts when steered or flowing towards something that isn't desired, and that is perfectly normal and okay. But in our fighting against, in our declarations of "this should not be", we make it so hard, and difficult, and unbearable in our pushing against something less than wanted. I do it more than I'd like. A lot of the world, it seems does the same. We can be an anxious, depressed collectivity. It certainly does not have to remain that way. That's where letting go comes in and shifts scenarios that seemed insane to a gentleness that is melodic and profound. We become the gentle current of lakes and streams, and depending on how much we are releasing and allowing, we may be an eight-foot wave or Niagara Falls, but it is all letting go and allowing. Not letting go causes illnesses. Not letting go is negative stress built up. Energy has to transform some how. Holding on and the need to control it all is what causes the yuckies (that's a technical term, by the way).

I am in perpetual mindfulness mode. I can feel the difference when I'm not, and when I'm not, I'm trying to manipulate outcomes, so I can feel in total control. I know there is no such thing as total control, but when I'm hanging on for dear life, try telling that to my ego. Egos don't give a flying-you-know-what about just being. Egos are trying to prove their worth through action, worry, and comparison—oh, and that pesky self-flagellation that comes from it all. It's pretty exhausting, right?

So let it go. We hear it (especially if you have little girls who like princess movies), and we know it, but sometimes we need reminders, and a lot of deep breaths, and a lot of crying, and a lot of meditation, and a lot of laughing, and a lot of singing, and a lot of dancing, and a lot of running, and a lot of nature, and a lot of hugging, and a lot of writing, especially a lot of writing. Let it go and just be the beautiful ball of love you already are.

Five Ways to Kick Monday in the Butt

Five Ways to Kick Monday in the Butt 

Hey Monday! I'm not really liking you so much today, but it isn't really your fault. It's that first official Monday. You know the one that represents that we are all back in the routine of getting everyone dressed and out the door, getting everyone fed. Getting everyone to stop spacing out. Beginning of the school year blues. Can't we all just go back to sleep?

This is how we feel sometimes on Monday mornings.

This is how we feel sometimes on Monday mornings.

We all feel this way on occasion or often, but there is no reason we need to stay in this mode. I woke up this way today, because at about 3 in the morning, fear about the future started to kick in. I really hate when that happens. Damn ego waking me up. Guilt about spending money I shouldn't have spent yesterday, even though I had an amazing day outside with Olivia. Panic that I'm off track. Berating my own big decisions at 3 in the morning. Pretty irritating. I listened to two relaxing meditations and briefly scrolled through Instagram. I'd say about an hour of sleep was shaved off, which on the weekend or summer vacation is acceptable, but it doesn't go over well, when you must be up while it is still dark out.

Fun times with Olivia yesterday.

Fun times with Olivia yesterday.

So today, I'm having that second giant cup of coffee. I'm writing more in my journal, and I'm meditating for a few minutes every hour. Sometimes, you just have to accept that you're freaking out and act accordingly. Beating yourself up for it creates a spiral of more freak out. Beating yourself up is the equivalent of trying to erase your feelings by pretending it never happened. It's exhausting as I'm sure you know. Instead try some of these tips: 

1. Acknowledge all of your feelings. Your feelings are there to remind you of what to do. If you're constantly ignoring them and / or pushing them over in the corner, those feelings will just play out in some other, usually unhealthy, way. I like self-talk and imagining all of my various inner children at different ages. I just say, "I know we are freaking out and I understand, but we are just scared, because of (fill in the blank). I love you." I imagine giving myself a big hug. I know if you're not used to doing this, it can feel silly, but I'm telling you this works. If you don't want to say it, then write as if you are talking to yourself. YOU must love yourself fully.

2. Take it easy. This does not mean don't do your work or neglect anyone (although, if you have the luxury to bask in an extended time out, do it!). It just means you don't have to accomplish everything on your to do list, right this minute. Your number one priority is making sure YOU are centered and calm. You are of little use to anything and anyone if you are working on a super stressed level.

3. Take several two to three minute breaks. I used to be a smoker. I miss smoking because it is a forced break. Granted when I was a smoker, you could still do it in the restaurant or bar, but eventually that stopped and it forced me to take a conscious walk outside for a few minutes and to breathe deeply. It's a no brainer, really. Take frequent breaks, preferably ones that force you to get up and change your scenery and breathe deeply. Does wonders.

4. Socialize (or don't). Some people need other people to talk to throughout the day to feel calm. Some don't. When I'm really stressed, I prefer to be alone listening to some favorite music. Do what makes you feel human again.

5. You choose. You can continue feeling like crap all day or you can choose to snap out of it (by using some of the techniques above or any that work for you). If you want to wallow when you have the opportunity and means to not do so, then go ahead and wallow, but remember you chose to continue with it. I know it's a fine line—don't ignore your feelings, but you don't have to bathe in the negative ones for long. Process the feelings and move on (some processing takes time though).

Your choice...

Your choice...

Maybe have that extra cup of coffee today and the pastry. I know you've got this!

Happy Monday!

xoxo Angelique