I've lived with chronic illness for over half of my life, and there's a gnawing feeling that there is always something wrong, that this pain is a new normal and that you believe what the doctors feed you—medicated forever, suppressing your immune system, putting healthy parts of your body at risk for the sake of making another part better. That new normal—drugged up, more exhausted, needing more meds, needing more rest, body shutting down is what we believe is the only way, because that’s what we’ve been told. We tend to believe what we’ve been told as a collective.
There was a part of me that had a feeling that way was wrong, but how do you vocalize that to a doctor, the person in charge, the person who is supposed to care for you?
And, parts of me vocalized it and refused meds, but I got that, "You're crazy" stare and / or scolding. I got the fear mongering that is so rampant in our culture. Just about everything we see constantly is wrapped in the guise of fear. We fight war by fighting. We fight cancer by fighting. We fight poverty by fighting. You get the idea.
The way doctors treat chronic illness is not effective in the long term. I actually felt worse when I was on methotrexate and Humira. I had to get injections of steroids in my knees every time I took the Humira. Why? Low energy—meds that kept me tired and in a cycle of need. But, it wasn't the meds. It was me. I never felt good about taking them, and when you don't feel good about something, it won't work as well. I had total resistance to taking meds. And, in total resistance, nothing works as it should.
I discovered the power of this body and the power of knowing that when I'm stressed and holding onto that stress, I am creating more fuel for illness to perpetuate. It's extreme and chronic misalignment that causes these physical symptoms. These physical symptoms are not separate from any part of your entire being. If you don't face the feelings you're having and if you don't accept them and let them go, those feelings build up and voila! Illness. I am not minimizing anything that anyone is going through or has experienced. It's all very real, but the power to heal is within us, not on the outside. There are people who've cured themselves of seemingly death sentence diseases without medication. We each have the power to do recover and heal completely.
I know, finally, when I need to take it easy, when I need to speak up, when I need to meditate until I let it go (which, by the way, is all the time). Actually, I don't always know, but I'm getting better at knowing and this has been the biggest improvement of this body, and it feels good and empowering to know I can heal my body. I am not cured by any means, but I take less ibuprofen than I ever have, and I feel really good 90% of the time.
Here's to our health!