It can be damn difficult to remember this when you're in the throes of something challenging, but nothing matters more than you feeling good, and the better you feel, the easier your life is. It's so, so simple, but yet we (I!!) forget in our attempt to control the circumstances and outcomes of everything. When you're deliriously happy, the universe conspires to give you more of what makes you happy. Simple as that. We complicate it, because most of us believe we have to do more and exert more effort to make "it" happen, but it isn't true (unless that's what you believe).
Friday was one of those mixed energy days that I've lived far longer than I wish to even discuss. I know how good it can be, but then I cloud it with my feeling like I have to control or will it to happen, so Friday sucked, and I spiraled into the depths of beating myself up. But I got a really good cry or five out, and I knew I was clearing the space for some better energy. I fell asleep by 8:30 that night, and I woke up the next day feeling like my super positive glorious self, plus the weather was so damn good that I got to comfortably wear shorts and flip flops—my favorite uniform of choice since I was a kid. Let's just say on Friday, I was running around in a panic and I was super late to my daughter's presentation. I feel shitty about it, but she was okay with it and happy that I made it, but I was THAT person who exudes stress in every breath and step. I was soooo aware of it as I was doing it, but the momentum was strong, and it was playing out. I was the type of person I try to stay away from for fear of my happy being clouded, but we all have those moments. I almost felt like a puppet, but I knew I had created this, hence the crying afterwards and the sleeping at the hour of a toddler. I fucked up. I've owned it, and I don't particularly like it, but it happened. I can now let it go thanks to feeling really good the next day and right now, and of course, sharing it here with you.
So, when it gets like that, the more you fight it, the bigger it gets, so accept it as best you can and let it go, and then return to feeling good. Once I woke up on Saturday, I was on top of the world again. The kids and I had a glorious day going for a walk to grab a bagel and some park time. On our way to the park, we saw the kids’ Meemaw (their honorary, most beautiful grandmother), and we were invited over. We enjoyed an afternoon of just being and once we headed over to her house, there was relaxed conversation, kids playing together, dinner and just being. Great things happen when you feel awesome. It's inevitable. The world is beautiful and people are kind. You witness and experience so much beauty in this state—one of my favorite occurrences of the previous week was sitting in one my favorite coffee shop's in Flemington (Factory Fuel—it's so good. Go if you are in that area!). A man came in for a coffee and was offered a job by the owner right there on the spot. I assume it was a contracting job of some sort, but his delight was such a pleasure to watch. When he was talking to another person there about it, he said, "It is so weird. I just woke up really happy this morning, and look. I got a job..." Amazingness happens when you're damn happy. You don't need a circumstance or a reason to be happy. You just choose to be in a delightful state as much as you can muster. Keep stretching the boundaries of the mustering. The happy momentum can easily overpower any other momentum, and your life will forever change for the better when it does.
Feel good no matter what.