Everything Is Your Choice

Everything Is Your Choice: Monday Motivator

Happy Monday! I know this day can be tough, but don't let it zap you! I am here to constantly remind you that YOU get to choose how you feel.

One of the amazing benefits of living in the NYC area is the ability to do any activity at any moment. You want to see a play? Awesome! You want to hear a live band? Yes! Want a five star restaurant? Of course! With all of these choices, it is often difficult to choose what it is you really want to do.

Me with John Doe, the lead singer of X, in 2010. This is my favorite picture ever.

Me with John Doe, the lead singer of X, in 2010. This is my favorite picture ever.

This weekend, I was presented with what was essentially the dilemma (a privileged one, no doubt) of having the choice to listen to so much amazing live music. Two of my favorite bands ever, Arcade Fire and X, played several nights in a row in NYC. Plus, the amazing AFROPUNK festival (that is totally free!!!) was occurring over the weekend—Bad Brains, Fishbone, LOLAWOLF, (Lenny Kravitz's and Lisa Bonet's daughter's band—she's more gorgeous than them. I'm still trying to wrap my head around how that's possible.) and tons more amazing acts. My point—I had all of these choices. I made some excuses as to why I didn't buy my ticket for X. I used money as an excuse, but I turned around and used the same amount of money for a decent dinner for my kids and me Friday night. I also used the waiting for the kids' dad to get off work excuse as well to not go. X is a band I try to see every time they tour, and I've been pretty successful in doing so since about 1995. There were a few years that I missed when I was pregnant and adjusting to newborn babies, but I've seen them so much that I honestly have lost count. So anyone who does exactly what they want knows that these excuses I used were easily solvable, but I made the choice to not go.

LOLAWOLF (Isn't she more gorgeous?) Photo Credit: AFROPUNK page https://www.facebook.com/afropunk/photos/a.93811151622.90220.47016231622/10152314944561623/?type=1&theater

LOLAWOLF (Isn't she more gorgeous?) Photo Credit: AFROPUNK page https://www.facebook.com/afropunk/photos/a.93811151622.90220.47016231622/10152314944561623/?type=1&theater

I also didn't go to AFROPUNK. And a part of me really wanted to go, but I blew it off. I was on my way, but I had the opportunity to catch up with one of my former students and eat tacos (I love tacos. Can I marry tacos?). Again, another choice.

I did go to Arcade Fire happily. I bought that ticket in December. I wasn't missing that show for anything in the world. I would've arranged everything in order to see them again. They're that amazing! All of the others are too, but I didn't choose them.

Dan Deacon as DJ prior to Arcade Fire. Crazy dance moves occurring.

Dan Deacon as DJ prior to Arcade Fire. Crazy dance moves occurring.

There was a point yesterday when I really felt the power of choice. I could've easily attended all of the concerts. I could’ve easily bought a ticket for X for one of the nights. I chose to stay home and use my money for my family. I don't think that's noble or anything, but I saw it for what it is—choice and choice is your power. I finally felt fully for the first time yesterday that all of the reasons we use to justify choice is unnecessary. When we make those excuses, we are giving away a part of our strength and power. When we own up to the choices we make, big or small, we are accepting responsibility for the course of our own lives. It is an amazing and glorious feeling to know that you have choice in every single situation. It releases guilt and fear and shame. Own up and honor ALL of your choices. It's stunning.

Much love,

Angelique